Music suggestion for this piece: Emily Wells - Symphony 8 & the Canary's Last Take
Matthew Diaz's "Series of Omissions" is written as the obituary of one Norman O'Conner: father, husband, disappointment, hatemonger, best dad ever. It shows all the complexities and some of the evolution that this man went through in his lifetime and how his survivors dealt with him and with their loss of him.
It's pretty clear that you ran out of time when writing this piece. It really needs more before I can give a full explanation of what really works and what doesn't. However, I can say that the title is absolutely fantastic. I don't think that there is a better one for your piece. I also like the parallelism in the use of "He is survived" at the beginning of each paragraph after the first and the last. It's a small touch that reminds you of the style of the piece.
As for what cold be improved, I feel like I don't understand much of what motivates the character to do what he does. Why did he decide to make up with his daughter? If he's such an ass, why did she agree to meet him? In fact, the reason behind many of the details in the piece seemed to lack motivation. If the neighbor was stalking her, why didn't the daughter immediately switch phones? Why would a camping trip get the kids in trouble?
I'd also like to point to a theme that I'd like to see developed more because I thought it was what the story was going to be about at first: physical manifestations of emotion. You begin with the "belt" for punishment and anger, immediately followed by the bar fight that occurs out of grief. I thought the story was going to show the way a physical outlet was instilled on the minds of the children because of that. It's just a suggestion, and the story doesn't suffer from not having it, but I think it would improve the piece.
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