Janelle Green - "Safe"

Music for this reading: Anastastia Prokhodko - Mamo

Janelle Green's "Safe" is about a college student that lives alone. Her parents divorced when she was ten-years-old, and ever since then, she's been taught and keen to hate men. When she began college, her father gave her dog to help protect her. This particular night, the main character finds her dog to be acting oddly, and when a man breaks in without the dog's intervention, the student is put through hell and almost raped.

I think the best part of this whole scene is the history you have given this character. She's extremely-round and her irrational fears are easily justified, although, I still found one scene to be  bit much. Then again, it wasn't really that big of a deal. Another good part of the piece was the structure of the whole thing, the long paragraphs giving the sensation of somebody that was panicked and fearful. I bet it would be even more effective if you had smaller paragraphs at the beginning to show her usual thought process.

The character's use of the cell phone seems odd, to tell the truth. At first, she's too scared to grab it and use it. Then, she grabs it as she leaves her room to check on the health of her dog that she's worried about. Then, in her moment of greatest panic, she is able to use it and speak coherent sentences to the officer. I wonder if you should find a way to disable the cell phone, giving the story greater tension. Admittedly, it would have to change how you got to the end, but I know you could do it.

There was also one line on page five that really stood out as weird. "It was interesting because the mask he was wearing almost seemed familiar, but I was too scared to really think about it." That's not something I would be able to let go if I felt I was in mortal danger because, damn it, if I know the assailant, I'm going to call them out on it before they get me. It also seemed odd, based on what I got of her personality, that she would notice something like that and immediately let go of it. It would cause her more panic, at the very least.