"A Different Place" - Robert E. Lee

"A Different Place" begins with the narrator learning that his family has been in an accident while on vacation overseas. Throughout the rest of the story, he comes to learn that one character, Derick, died, and he watches his family cope with the loss. A lot of the story seems to be about the psychological effects of violent loss on a person's psyche, such as the guilt felt by the father due to being the one driving at the time of the accident.

I really like the dynamic you have with the family. I can tell that they are important to each-other without being obsessive. The interactions between the narrator and the father seemed, for the most part, realistic and important to the piece in its entirety. That's always a great thing. I also like the first two sentences you used to open the piece. The use of the time markers helps to both give a sense of dread and establish both setting and plot.

One area where I'm not sure how I feel is the ending. I kinda like the idea of the narrator ending with the line that makes him feel partially responsible for Derick loss. It also ties in with the opening really well. However, it doesn't feel like a full ending.

I wonder if this lack of closure stems from my feeling that the narrator shouldn't be the main character. I think the most-important character in the piece seems to be the father, and the narrator is nothing more than a observer, watching the events unfold. I don't really feel that the main character is allowed far enough into the main conflict of the plot to have more than a tertiary role in the development of the plot and very little impetus for change. Perhaps you should change to the father's perspective?

Another suggestion I have, which is just a small one, is to make sure that people understand that Liberia is a city in Costa Rica. I think that most people are going to assume the African country first. Also, while I like the large family, perhaps cutting down on the names would help readers attach names to bodies for the few that you really want us to learn, like the wife and step-mother.