Matthew Diaz's "Fortune" is about a man that's watching television in his room when two men come in, shoot his dog, and rob him. Throughout the entire work, the narrator is just sitting on his couch and watching as they go through the motions of the robbery, contemplating doing something. Finally, at the end, after most of the things are damaged, he makes an action against the robbers.
The piece has an excellent plotline. It is hard to put down, and it's excellently worked. I love the flow of events and the observations made by the narrator. It's hard to argue against some of his similes and metaphors, such as the mausoleum teeth. I also like the constant references to the corpse of Duke throughout the piece. That shows that it really disturbs him, almost to the point that he can't believe it happened still.
Where the piece is weak, if you ask me, is in the use of some sentence structure and vocabularly. The use of words such as "concupiscence" and "invective" seem to be fake and writery in the moment, especially considering that such a high vocabulary disappears in the center part of the story arc before resurfacing at the end. It's kind of hard to believe the narrator using some of the words. Also, the piece could use a few more sentences. Two of the three paragraphs on the first page are one sentence long and full of "ands" to connect it. It flows well sometimes, but it's also distracting in the end.
There were some great revealing moments in the piece. The use of the television to reflect both feelings and to explain how he felt was great, and I wouldn't mind seeing it expanded upon. Overall, I was excited to read the piece though. Good job!
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