Music suggestion for the reading (yes, I'm going to start doing these with student works too): Juli Fabian & Zoohacker - Like a Child
Christina Kettering's "Dress Rehearsal" is about a pair of sisters: Kate and Diana. Kate, the main character, is a girl ending her high school career and under serious pressure from multiple sources: college deadlines, her role in the school play (as an extra), and most importantly her feelings of individuality in conflict towards her sister. Meanwhile, Diana seems to still be floating throughout life, playing the role of the younger sister without problem and taking few things seriously.
The first thing I really like is the dichotomy of the two girls. I do get a sense of unwanted antagonism between the two of them, and I can definitely sympathize, if not empathize, with Kate's wish to be a separate entity from Diana. I also enjoy the realism of the characters in the piece. If I can't relate myself to an action, I can relate a person I know to an action. I also like the scene in the opening where they are shopping for dresses. One is searching for perfection in dress form while the other wants it over and done with. It reminds me of some shopping trips with friends.
That being said, I wish that you had found some what to tie in the purple dress that you made such a big deal about with the rest of the story. Sure, it fleshes out that scene, but is there no way to make it compatible with the main plot. Maybe Diana buys that dress for prom? I also feel that the narrative voice is sometimes a fading ghost that is always haunting in the background but rarely jumps to the front of the piece. I'd love to see a stronger voice that rarely takes a back seat.
Finally, I would also love to see some more interaction between the characters. Everything you have right now is great, but I think that a couple more scenes can really help to increase tension some more and to help characterize some of the characters that are passing mentions, such as Andrew, and characterize Sean more. In fact, the beginning of the piece makes him seem like a far more-important character than he turns out to be in the piece. I'd like to see him rise up to that importance.
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