Shelby Rice's "A Flicker in the Night" is about the relationship between the narrator and his mother. The story tell s of how he or she would always wait for the mother to come in and tuck her/him in. Now, his/her mother no longer does this, and death is implied, so the narrator can no longer sleep.
I'm still not really sure how I should evaluate short-short stories, but I know that I really like yours. In particular, I love how you structured it to emphasize every sentence in the ending. It gives each sentence a real power that they might have otherwise lacked. The scene with the mother is touching, but something about it is also somewhat off-putting. Maybe it is because of the imagery of the perfume that would follow her everywhere. Something about the idea of this perfume clutching to her all hours of the day seems somewhat disturbing. How often does she reapply it? Or does she really overdo it that much at the beginning of the day?
Besides this one little flicker, I can't find anything to complain about though. There were a few grammatical issues and one case of a missing word or phrase, but those are things that you'll fix in revisions without issue. You portray your character's emotions well, and you make me remember times when I would stay near my parents because they were security. All in all, good job!
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